what i learned-----------------from my experiences

Mechanics of Attachment

One way that people become more attached to each other is that once you have shared some story or information about your life with someone (a friend, lover, etc.) whenever there is an update to that story or a change in the status of what you have shared, you want to share the update with the person who already knows the back story. It doesn’t really work to retell the whole story to someone else because it they don’t have the correct setup time to be truely surprised with you about the change in the status of the story. For example, if you have been telling someone about how you are taking a group exercise class and how hard it is, you want to tell them that you passed your final by 1 point! It doesn’t really work to tell someone else that you have passed your course by one point because they don’t have the full emotional impact of the new information.

Personal thoughts on how to decide if you should be a professional artist

This is not my problem. Left to my own devices I don’t think I’d get hung up on this atall but this woman keeps asking me if I want to be an artist and every time she does it spins me around for about two days.

The problem has two competing angles in my head. One is the idea that to be a professional you should make your money from the art and the opposing thought is to question “why should my art and my money intersect at all?” Being professional by making art for money is supported by our society, plus there is an additional aspect which is that the need to live will drive you to make the art AND that it will force you to make it good enough for external consumption.

The countervailing argument is that it does not make common sense to me to try to make my money from art. In terms of business, art just doesn’t pay very well and additionally by making art for someone else you are often obliged to slant it to what they want as opposed to what you want.

There is an alternative structure where I make my money from something else and I do my art as much as I can. This doesn’t work for most people because their “day jobs” end up eating up their lives. For whatever reason this hasn’t happened to me yet, so I shouldn’t have to react to it, but it such a common thing that other people take it for granted.

Another aspect of this whole issue is that my art is flexible enough to encompass most things, so there are ways for me to fold business into art by applying my creativity outside of a drawing, to selling or designing, or whatever.

Luck

What is luck? Getting things that you don’treally deserve. How to be lucky: 1 Be irresponsible to increase your undeservingness. 2 Notice and appreciate the luck when it happens. Luck is only luck when it registers, otherwise it is just stuff that happens. 3 Accept the luck. Don’t throw your luck away and don’t immediately change what you want away from what has fallen in your lap.

Act On It

Often you know what you want or need but you are not ready to act on that knowledge. so the bad thing to do is vacilate about what you know, going back and forth about your decision until you are confused and your deciciveness is worn down. People often do this in relationships or jobs. They know the person isn’t right for them but they aren’t ready to leave the relationship so they vacilate and doubt themselves and start acting jerky until the relationship deteriorates and ends. Instead, the correct action is to notice what you feel and then wait until you have the wherewithall to act on it. And the faster you can muster the strength to act, the better your life will proceed.

Mystical

things only seem mystical when you are personally removed from the organic way they evolved. If you are in tune with something it seems natural, not mystical.

Age

as you get old you must fight not to settle from art into craftmanship.

Striving

The common interest and focus of discussion among my friends and me is the space between what we can imagine and what we can manage.

I can be

Unhappy with my life. But happy to be alive.

Make the World Better

By giving well placed compliments!

Negotiating Silences

Ask for what you want and then wait while looking at the person paitently. Leave that long silence! If they say no just ask again and give any reason and then be quiet and look at the person. The most important parts are the long silences, they’ll get you what you want.